Tyra ( by Arctic )

[arctic]

NAME: Tyra shulo 
AGE: 15
ORIGIN: Berk
OCCUPATION: Dragon rider 
GENDER & SEXUALITY: female and bi




LIKES: Flying fast, training, being with her dragons and her bow  
DISLIKES: All Whispering death's, all dragon hunter's, 
STRENGTHS: she has great aim, is good at running, smart and brave also because she can speck  Dragonese as well as Norse 
WEAKNESSES: can be quite, hide's her true feelings, is not open and not s good at balancing  
FEARS: She fear's whispering death's, deep water (when swimming in it), being to slow
(as in not getting there in time) and spider's x3
AMBITIONS:  To be the fastest dragon rider out there, to be able to always hit with her bow, to be a great dragon tamer and to make her mother proud 
SECRETS: she like's to sing to her self but dose not let people hear her she also like's to wright


OVERALL PERSONALITY: she is kind and will help out any one who need's her even if there her enemy she loyal like her dragon and like him has a short temper and can be a little cold to new people yet can be kind to kid's etc...



PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: 
file:///home/chronos/u-390a254fe3d09a06bf70948dc4fd0a3df0b0c106/Downloads/Screenshot%202016-01-16%20at%205.31.21%20PM.png

HISTORY: 
She was born in berk on the day November 28. the first year's of her life were normal she had never had a dragon then and on her 3rd birth day her family and her went on a trip but what they didn't know was that were they went was a whispering death's nest/home  when they docked there they set up camp after a hour or so they were in combat with 3 whispering death's he father attacked them as her and her mother stetted of to sea Tyra father never made it back to the boat 


As they were sailing past Changewing island a storm hit Tyra was knocked of the boat and washed up on to Changewing  island after a few hour's she woke up with a young Changewing infront of her she didn't know what it was ad copied it's moment's giggling they formed an unbreakable boned she was like a part f the young Changewing's family after 11 year's she ent back to berk and live's there to this day with he dragon


she also dose some engineering stuff like makeing saddle's (not amazingly tho) and can also make thing's like toothless tail 
  

FAMILY: 
mother-Mira (live's with) 
father- lyric: dead  
siblings-none

WEAPON OF CHOICE: A bow and arrow normally but she also has a dagger 
FIGHTING STYLE: long range but when fighting with her dagger she fight's fast and is normally not hit but if she is due to her having next to no armor she will be badly hurt 



DRAGON:
NAME: Morph 
GENDER:Male 
TYPE: Changewing 
APPEARANCE: he is a normal Changewing except he has one iron tooth and were's light metal armor to have more defense if not going on a stealth mission  
PERSONALITY: he is very loyal and will do any thing for Tyra he will always be that way but ha also has a short temper and will strike out at other dragon's if get's to annoyed with them other then that he is kind and smart but he is silly and will mes around some time's he is also stubbin and can be serious lastly he can be over protective for the one's he cares for.
STRENGTHS: he is extremely fast and agile also if needed can change color/ pattern in a flash
WEAKNESSES: he is scared of all whispering death's due to his past and will not fight them and is scared of loud sound's

KEYWORD HIDDEN IN RULES: *checked by Pime2*
CBOX NAME: Arctic

[PIME2]

Hi, sorry for taking a little while to review this. For starters, I think it might be a good idea for you to have a quick read through what you have written and try to do a bit of proof reading. I’m not going to go through what in that regard needs fixing, it feels a bit harsh for me to do that, and I can understand what you were trying to say throughout, but it would be good practise to check through what you’ve written to see if you can spot any spelling or grammar errors.

Now for the actual review. Not sure about the last name, it doesn’t feel that Norse. Good rule of thumb, think either actual Norse/northern names/words or go for something silly like the stuff that turns up in the movies xD.

Next, 15 is a bit young to be a dragon rider, I would say either bump up the age a year or two, or make her a Viking in training instead. I also think you need a couple more dislikes (minimum four) and maybe one more weakness (hide's her true feelings and is not open are kind of the same thing).

Now, in regards to the picture, its fine and good, but I do notice you have in the description of that post “going to be deleted soon”. If you don’t want as a deviation on your account, may I suggest you either move it into straps or repost it to sta.sh and then put the link to it into the app, as it would be good if the app could show what your character looks like after it has been accepted as well as while its pending. If not, you could write up a description of what your character looks like so that there is at least something in there.

Finally, in regards to history. I feel it might be good to bump her age up, as three is a bit young for the stuff you described to be happening to someone. Also, please don’t have Tyra be knocked out of a boat and washed ashore, you have already had her loose her dad to whispering deaths, I don’t feel it’s necessary for her to be lost by her mother as an infant, and I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to have been raised by dragons.

That’s about it for now, come talk with me on the cbox if here’s anything you want to talk about. I’ll review this again once you’ve made some changes.