Cobbler the Night Fury

[Gunnar the Gullible]

NAME: Cobbler
AGE: Adult
GENDER: Male
SPECIES: Night Fury

LIKES:
Fish
Flying
Scaring smaller dragons
Sarcasm
Baby dragons

DISLIKES: 
Most social interaction
Know-it-alls
Skrills
Whispering Deaths
Most humans

STRENGTHS:
Flying - being of young age and such, flying is a task that he has already become quite good at
Fire power - fire power is his strength, being a night fury, but that doesn't mean it always hits its target
Agility - being light and nimble he is able to make sharp turns and escape situations easily
Echolocation - a hidden talent which helps him find his way in the darkness


WEAKNESSES:

Poachers: Even though he is a strong dragon, he stands no chance against an army of poachers
Easy meals: With Berk having a whole stack of fish just waiting to be eaten, he can't help but indulge himself once in a while.
Alpha control - even he, being a night fury, cannot hide when an alpha dragon uses their control on him
Female dragons - its like a drug to him, he is obsessed with female dragons of all breeds, especially similar breeds
Baby dragons - although mean and tough, he has a soft spot for baby dragons of any species


AMBITIONS:
Find a suitable mate
Start a family

FEARS:
Rejection
Dying alone

APPEARANCE: His scales are pitch black in color, his eyes a deep green color, originally. His eyes are a deep, dark green color. His ear nubs are long and thick, while his tail fins are long and limber. His paws are a bit over sized with sharp claws on the ends. His body is thick and stocky. On his ear nubs are a few notable chips, his body also riddled with old scars and fresh wounds which are fading to scars. He is a larger night fury, but not the largest by any means.

PERSONALITY: For most of his life he kept to himself, save for flirting with some females from time to time. Ah the females; they were attracted to him, but none he found suitable to be a mate. But upon a lowly human following him around he found he had to have company with him. Slowly, he is learning to trust those around him more as this dastardly human shows him his ways and annoys him with love. Most of the time, Cobbler prefers to be alone or with the company of his new found female friend Charisma- a female night fury... but the more and more he is exposed to other dragons the more he yearns to fit in and be like them. He enjoys the simple pleasures of easy meals and finding cute young hatchlings that follow him around. He also enjoys the peaceful and calm environment that Berk seems to be. He is not sure whether to trust these dragons and humans; but they give no signal of ill intent, so why not. He also found that, surprisingly, the hatchlings prefer to follow him around. Annoying at first, but soon he became protective of the hatchlings, becoming known as the village uncle. Within time, he will grow protective of his human and his new found female friend. For now, he enjoys the simplicity of not having to be on constant defense and going around hungry; for Gunnar makes sure he has all his needs met.

HISTORY:

Born to a lone female night fury, it was quickly discovered that Shadow, or "hatchling" as his mother called him, was one of the tougher to please offspring. He always liked his particular kind of fish, and chose to eat first and push away others who tried to take his food. His mother seemed pleased with his personality, but as he grew he turned on his family, creating more and more fights with his siblings. It wasn't until his brother challenged him for the territory that he was beaten to an inch of his life and lost. Obviously he was no longer welcome in his own turf, so he fled and became a lone dragon.

He soon discovered that other dragons did not like him by nature. He was quick to challenge other dragons for food, and after winning a few, they began to avoid him.Those who didn't often challenged him for food. The most annoying being the skrill. The number of times the skrill sent lightning bolts at him was quite annoying, and it earned him a few scars as well. He soon learned to avoid skrills, unless challenged by one. But there was another dragon that was even more annoying; whispering deaths. They chose to burrow, and creep up out of nowhere to challenge him. These two species were the few dragons that didn't fear him, and thus it created obvious rivalries.

Perhaps one dragon that he learned from a young age was a friend was a young night strike known as Viper. Their friendship started quite by accident, when one day the night fury got into a rather bad battle with a skrill. The night strike managed to poison the skrill, and help him win the battle. It was then that he learned that these two worked better as a team.

Now one day Cobbler encountered humans when he heard Vipers cry coming from the shore. As he went to see what it was, he was infuriated by the sight. Several ships, and on the shore, cages and cages of dragons. In one of them was Viper. Cobbler managed to blast the cage open, setting Viper free. Yet his hatred of humans had begun, seeing just how cruel they could be.

And then one day, while out and about on his own, the night fury saw a scrawny human wandering into his territory. Humans. How he loathed them. They were the one species he didn't understand. How they could fire these sticks with fire, how they could shoot a dragon out of the skies; yet one scrawny human dared to cross him. He stalked the human for a long time before suddenly attacking, ready to give the death shot, when the human did something that made the night fury falter; he pulled out a weird herb that had an enchantingly rich scent. As he inhaled, the scent wafted through his veins, causing him to go into a sort of hallucinatory stage. When he awoke, the boy was gone.


KEYWORD: *Checked by Pime2*
CBOX NAME: Fern

[Redkitebait]

Hi! Sorry for the wait, IRL stuff and you know things. Your Night Fury is interesting, but since it is a coveted rare dragon, we will be reviewing this rather rigorously. Aside from that, let's begin!


Name:: The name is too generic. Could you change it please?

In the future we're likely to get a lot more Night Furies, and everyone is likely going to give them black/shadow themed names like Nyx, Night, Black, Shadow or Midnight, and so on. We feel it's better if, when making a Night Fury, people don't pick the obvious clichés, because it just makes something that's meant to be special look humdrum. Take Toothless and Timber for example. Hiccup chose Toothless because when they started to bond he noticed the retractable teeth. Timber is short for Timber's Bane, because she defeated a Timberjack to save Ulrika.


Dislikes:: Eels is obvious. Please find another.


Strengths & Weaknesses:: We're going to work on these two together because there are many things that tie together:

Blindness, flight and Agility - With one good eye, the Night Fury is not going to be able to take in all his surroundings well, and if he is flying at high speeds, he needs to anticipate every obstacle. If he cant see one side of his field of vision, how is he going to avoid obstacles?

Toothless has only really been shown to use echolocation in tight spaces like cave systems, not on rocky coastal pillars in broat daylight. Their big cat-eyes designed for night vision means they dont need to use that power outside. Also with one eye, his depth perception will be slightly skewed, making him more likely to crash into obstacles.

Which brings me to agility. If he can't fully navigate obstacles, how is he going to be able to dodge them? The minor holes and shreds in his wings wont help with his agillity either, which would cause all sorts of aerodynamical problems.

Fire power - Night furies are renowned for their accuracy. I suppose it's due to the poor eyesight, but wouldn't that mean this is classed as a flaw instead?

Echolocation - "Finding prey" Night Furies only eat fish. Echolocation cant be used from water A bat's echolocation reflects off of water, so I assume Night Furies would do the same.

Wouldn't his missing teeth be a problem for him, for eating food and the like? Usually when animals lose teeth they have serious problems because they can't eat properly and eventually die off. And if he has trouble hunting and defending himself, wouldn't that make things even worse for his survival?

The alpha control and lust for females are both obvious traits for dragons, could you find something else please?


Ambitions:: Why does he want to be feared by all when you make him look like some humble elder that likes baby dragons?


Fears:: Losing a loved one is an obvious fear, please find another.


Apperance::

I feel like your character has too many scars; I understand he's always looking for a fight, but the damage to his wings will greatly affect his flight. Night Furies are finely tuned to be aerial masters, even the smallest damage to their wings can be hazardous!
The eye scar is really overused in dragon designs I would prefer if he didn't have one.

How big is he compared to Toothless? I dont want any disproportionate dragons!

Personality: Though your dragon is attached with a human, remember solitary dragons are difficult to RP with. Why are females agressive to him? Surely a big strong night fury would be attractive? If he's so grumpy, why do you write him like he's some kind calm elder-dragon later? I'm confused.

The personality hardly tells us what this dragon is like, there needs to be a bit more depth!


History::

What reason did your dragon need to be so agressive? When he beat his brother in a fight, why did he flee? Surely as the winner that means he won the territory? And if he's been such a bully, how did he only discover his strength just now?

I'm confused, is your dragon looking for challenges, or is it the dragons challenging him, could you make your mind up, I'm extra confused because they're also avoiding him?

Concerning viper - Would it make sense that they compete for food? Remember night furies only eat fish.

What made him hate humans so much if this is apparently the first time he's met one?

Why is he suddenly so bothered about the boy's fear? If he's been so agressive after all this time, getting into fights and the like, he'd be used to witnessing suffering and fear by now, so why is he hesitating?

I feel like Gunnar won him over too quickly. Hiccup and Toothless took weeks to reach their final bonding stage. This event is like the second time your Night Fury meets Gunnar.

Night Furies are said in the canon to be elusive and wary of humans. I understand your dragon's aggressiveness, which makes sense, but to be won over so quickly with standard dragon training techniques doesn't seem very Night Fury-ish. They are smart beasts that need a good deal of trust to form a bond. You can't gain that sort of trust in one day. The forbidden friendship scene took nearly an entire day, and that was just getting touch toothless, and even then Toothless wasn't too pleased about it.

Why does his personality suddenly do a U-turn?? Your dragon's whole personality can't just change at the flip of a coin just because he became friends with someone?



And that's about it for now, we shall review this again when changes have been made!

The TL;DR version is that there's just some inconsistencies to iron out and tone down the dramatic-ness a notch.