Critin D. Canin

[Deleted]

NAME: Critin D. Canin, Nicknames: Crit, Tiny, and Cry-baby. (dat not a nice name :\ )
AGE: 18
OCCUPATION: Blacksmith Apprentice. Critin looks for ways to help Dragon rider progression.
GENDER & SEXUALITY: Male, heterosexual



LIKES: Critin likes: helping Dragons in any way possible, Making metal models of Dragons, automating things, all ways doing something, and plays strategic games.(mainly Tafl)
DISLIKES: Critin Dislikes: Trappers, eels, beer, killing people(or Dragons), and not getting his daily sleep.
STRENGTHS: Critin is a strategist, he has a good humor, he is knowledgeable(terms, Dragons, and fighting styles(remember, analyst?)), and has a good sense of navigation.
WEAKNESSES: Critin is not the strongest person but strong(just can't see his muscles easily), not good with most weapons without training for his entire life(he has double knives), not the best at fashion, he has a mental weakness, making it so he says some words with a slight difficulty.
FEARS: loosing a limb, not having proper armor, Falling off of a Dragon(heights), and getting amnesia.
AMBITIONS: Get a Dragon, learning Dragonese, get a good wife(and kids), and lead a good life
SECRETS: he has polka-dotted underwear(pants UK), and only has a few manly chest hairs.


OVERALL PERSONALITY: his sense of humor helps him get though most stuff, if that doesn't work then he works through his problems.
Critin takes his time to analyze before acting. he prefers to work backstage rather than be the actor.(like the symbolism?) he rarely goes on Adventures all by himself, taking only a few things and living off the land, its good training for when he goes on big expeditions when he gets older. Critin keeps his cool most of the time,but when he really looses it, lets just say, its not the best idea to around him. Critin gets sad during conflict between loved ones.



PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Critin is a white boy, his eyes are blue, he has short-ish brunette hair, Critin has a small bone structure(not as much Soutlout, more hiccup). He usually has black leather armor over his blue wool shirt with black wool loose fit pants(trousers UK). He has a not so visible scar over his left eye. 6', 136.5 lbs.

HISTORY: Critin: "My birth date is september 8th, I am 18 years old, and well, I didn't have the best of birth places.
It just so happens that I was born in the neighboring woods. When my parents thought it a good idea to have a nice stroll, but, as you can see things didn't go to plan. Now im not the best fighter, but I think Im pretty good with double knives. The way I train, is by watching others, then replying it in my mind, finding week spots, then practicing my form on a tree. speaking of knives, do you see this scar?(pointing at his left eye) I got it when I was very young and and was practicing. I was starting to get lousy with the form, and loosened my grip, that knife in my left hand slipped, and drew this on my face! Now, the reason for wanting those knives? Well, I don't like rushing head-on into the fight like my Dad, I like coming up behind someone and stabbing them beside the neck. Now I mentioned my Dad earlier, His name is Fatle(fatal) can you guess how he got his name? He got his name rushing head-long into battle killing all foes in his way. My Mom is named Nora(no-ra) I don't exactly know why, but me guess is she would do something, and be told "No" then she would say "ra!" in response but thats just my guess. and now, the part you have been waiting for… why I don't have a Dragon yet. its simple, none of them have a good fit in my life yet, just waiting for the perfect match. *deep inhale* now back to the beginning. I was raised next to the blacksmith shop, and I was all ways told not to touch anything. My parents are nice people, but when drunk and upset with something they make a mad house! Usually yelling at me in anger. In my early years it would freak me out and I would start crying, hence the nickname Cry-baby. My Dad needed something shorter to call me, and one night he got drunk and started calling me Crit(cry-t) my Mom didn't like the name, she thought it didn't suit me, so she started calling me what I was compared to all the other Vikings, Tiny… OK! no more mean things, I got my occupation as a blacksmith apprentice at age 16 when I saw fit to start a job been there two years, and I like it so far. I currently live in a house close the same woods that I was born in, and to blacksmith shop, its a nice little dwelling that I have."

WEAPON OF CHOICE: double knives
FIGHTING STYLE: walking behind some unlucky target and stab them beside to the neck.

(Critin doesn't have a Dragon yet)

DRAGON NAME:
DRAGON TYPE:
DRAGON APPEARANCE:
DRAGON PERSONALITY:
DRAGON TECHNIQUES:

KEYWORD HIDDEN IN RULES: edited by Cym
CBOX NAME: Critin

[Cym]

Okay, this guy looks interesting, but we have some work to do
Let's get started, shall we?



DISLIKES: The not liking to sit down thing seems strange- who doesn't like to rest their legs after a long day's work? You can keep it if you have a good explanation for it. The death bit is also unnecessary. No one likes death, so saying that he dislikes it is a little silly.

STRENGTHS: It's fine that he's knowledgeable, but about what? He certainly doesn't know everything

WEAKNESSES:
--- "Critin is not really strong" He's an 18-year-old blacksmith apprentice! He better be strong!
--- "not good with any weapon without training for his entire life" There's no way that at 18 years, after going through the Dragon Training Academy and spending a few years in the forge that he isn't good at using at least one type of weapon
--- "giving long speeches" This seems kinda weird because vikings of his status wouldn't have to give speeches

AMBITIONS: The dragon's language is called 'Dragonese'

SECRETS: if he found a dragon egg already, why is it in his ambitions to get one? Also, he can't have a night fury in any form until you've reached 150 IC posts- including an egg.

OVERALL PERSONALITY: I don't think he'd be able to keep up with his apprenticeship if he just runs off on adventures all the time. I'd also like you to add some more to this section, there has to be more you could say about his character and how he acts.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION:
--- an inch and a half is not long hair, you gotta pick one
--- I'm not sure what you mean by "what clothes they wear most of the time". Go ahead and describe what he wears-you mentioned under weaknesses that he was bad at fashion, that might make things interesting!
--- That scar deserves some explanation! Please talk about it in your history.

HISTORY: I'm gonna be honest, this is a weak section-you have some work to do, but don't worry, I'm here to help!
--- He was born in the forest? That's actually pretty cool- definitely something you can talk about for a few sentences!
--- Oh, so he does have a weapon he uses... why'd you say he wasn't good at any? You should describe what made him choose the weapon and why he's good at it.
--- You might want to talk about his parents a little more. Describe his upbringing and relationship with them.
--- Other things to write about: How he became a blacksmith apprentice, his current living situation, that scar you mentioned earlier, why he's been unable to find a dragon to bond with, those nicknames you gave him


Just let me know if you have any additional questions, I'll be happy to help. Post a little notification for me when you've edited things up so I can look it over again. Good luck!

[Cym]

Alright, things are looking better! Still a little bit to do.
Time for round 2!

DISLIKES: you have that worded so it reads that he dislikes when people aren't killing each other xD

WEAKNESSES: How is the inability to be inspirational a weakness?

PERSONALITY: You didn't really add anything, do you think you could just beef it up with a few more sentences?

HISTORY: This is still really brief. As I mentioned to you, it should read more like a story than a list of facts. There are also some things you haven't included yet.
- environment of upbringing
- relationship with parents
- how he became a blacksmith
- current living situation
- nicknames
- I also think the dragon thing deserves a little more. If he doesn't have a dragon, obviously its because he hasn't found the right one yet, but WHY? Is he picky? Does he repel dragons? Does he have something specific in mind? Just some elaboration, please.


Let me know when you've made changes~

[Cym]

We are ALMOST DONE, this is looking much better.
Welcome to round 3


WEAKNESSES: I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be aloud to have an apprenticeship at the blacksmith with any kind of strength issues. You know these don't have to be external weaknesses, right? It can be a character flaw or something.

HISTORY: Looking awesome! In the future, you will need to write in 3rd person, and usually Id make you fix it on here, but I kinda like it so I'll let it slide. We really only have one issue here. The treehouse. It's creative, but kinda random. It would make a lot more sense for him to live in the village, especially with him working under the blacksmith and all.

[Cym]

Great job! You are accepted. Have fun roleplaying!