Snow, Smells, And Back-Breaking Straws [OPEN]

[Nanna The Numb]

Time and Date:: Winter, mid-morning
Weather:: Bitter cold, worsened by strong winds, mostly cloudy. Possibility of brief whiteouts from snow blowing around.
Previous Threads?:: N/A

---

Today was miserable. Although that was normal for this time of year, it was especially miserable for one particular household in Hysteria. Specifically the ones known for owning the forge, but mostly they’re known for one particular resident.

Nanna, while sort of known for her condition, not everyone was aware. No not THAT condition, basically everyone knew she couldn’t feel pain! No, what the issue today was that she ran out of ale, which she now needed desperately to calm her nerves. Otherwise she wouldn’t be able to do what she does best — work at the family forge.

And of course Boulder had to slip out again. Leaving her to go trudging through the winter-covered village scape. 'Ugh, just great…' she thought, as she made her way to her destination.

Then something distracted her. A most delicious distraction. It couldn’t hurt to stop by to get a fresh pie on the way. It would at least elevate her mood.

The wood creaked as she opened the bakery door, more of the lovely smells assaulting her senses. She finally decided on three different meat pies. Fresh from the oven

As she made her way towards the exit, her hands were getting shakier. At least today was looking a bit brighter for the currently grumpy Hysterian.

---

[ooc] I'm sorry if I mess up, I'm kinda new at this.

[Evan the Lucky]

"You've got to stop working eventually, Evan!"

The man ignored his mother and wiped the sweat off his forehead, continuing his work. "And if I did, then who could I possibly trust to finish this beauty!?" He let out a weak laugh as he imagined his father doing such a thing. "Dad would ruin her!"

"Yer father knows how to finish a ship just as well as you can."

"Pffft. The old man just wants to get it done and get paid. I, on the other hand, aim for precision." The woman rolled her eyes, knowing his speech by heart. "If it's not perfect, it ain't done." He cracked his knuckles for good measure before nailing the next board in.

"Just be sure not to starve yerself."

It was Evan's turn to roll his eyes. She might seem brash on the outside, but that was her way of saying she cared. "And if I do, at least I'll have one last ship finished!" He called as she left his line of sight.

It was only a few hours afterwords, that the 20 year old was getting hungry. "Thor almighty... I've only got a few more planks to go through." He muttered to himself. One thing's for sure, he wasn't going to leave his half-made ship alone. He poured his heart and soul into that after all!

Regretably, he ended up tossing his mallet to the side and dusting off any wood shavings from his leather apron. Patting the finished hull, he whispered, "I'll be back." Most people laughed at his way of talking to the sea vessels, but it didn't bother him in the slightest.

Evan gave his arms and back a good stretch when he finally left the ship. Alright, bakery. He trudged through the snow and passed any villagers that happened to be outside. If he saw any ladies, he made sure to walk with an extra big ego.

Luckily, as Evan usually was, there wasn't anyone else in the bakery. Or at least that's what he thought before he saw someone start leaving. And a girl, no less. Putting on an extra friendly smile, the man brushed past her and suddenly turned as if he hadn't noticed her. "Sorry. Wasn't looking where I was going."

Evan was a shameless flirt around here. He'd flirt with married women if given the chance. He enjoyed having them blush around him. In this sort of village, someone's got to find entertainment with something.

"Those pies look maginificent! What kind are they?" He glided closer to smell them, keeping his hands clasped behind his back.

[Harold Harrison]

Harold has been given the task today to inspect the rooftops of the houses and replace charred wooden tiles that might have been missed from dragon attacks. Honestly, the viking thought it was a stupid job, since most of the roofs had only one or two damaged tiles, yet he had to inspect every corner of each house.

To make matters worse, it had rained the other day (first rains of the year!) so everything wooden outside was now slippy. The lucky houses that had managed to survive long enough through several dragon attacks were even beginning to grow mould and algae on the surface, turning the buildings into a big deathtrap.

He was currently working on the bakeries. He had found himself a rather nice collection of damaged tiles, but he wondered if some of it was due to the bakery itself. He was near the front of the building, near the entrance. His mouth was full off nails and had a hammer in his belt.

He set to work, despite the wind that would make him shudder every now and again. Unfortunately he didn't realise the extent of the damage, and as he leaned forwards to wedge away the furthest pieces of blackened wood, he heard a crack.

Before he knew it, the world was spiraling around him, and he landed with a horrid sound that was in between a squishing and a crunch. Was he hurt? Obviously. He had landed on his back, and something had cushioned his fall. Blearily, he felt something warm and wet on his fingers.

Still rather stunned, he hadn't realised he had fallen right into a pie display on a table in the middle of the room. He woke up when he realised the stuff on his hands was some sort of red goo. He didn't realise just yet that he had falled on some pies that contained red sauces, but he suddenly gave a yelp. The pain in his sides didn't help the matter.

"Ahh!" He cried weakly. "I'm b-bleeding!" Harold wasn't usually outspoken, but he felt this was something that needed to come to attention.

[Nanna The Numb]

Just as Nanna was about to reach the door, something suddenly brushed past her. She quickly realized that it was actually a someone as she gave her best effort to regain her hold on her precious and delicious cargo. On a good day, she would have told the blond man to watch it and proceed to shove him out of her way, and on a really good day just keep from shoving altogether. Today was neither however, and she proceeded to shoot a most terrifying glare with teeth bared.

The man’s cocky demeanor only intensified her anger as he leaned forward and commented on the pies she almost dropped onto the floor.

She began to stomp towards the man, growling “They’re the kind that were just about ruined because of you, you clumsy son of a-“ but before she could finish, there was a sudden cracking sound just behind the offender. Actually, it sort of came from above, and not too long after came the loud snapping and crunching of wood.

Then, everything suddenly seemed to go in slow motion. As a sudden scream pierced her ears, she saw a most terrible sight unfold before her. A man was falling, closer and closer to the most beautiful display of freshly baked pies. Horrified by what was happening, she didn’t even realize that she lost her hold of her pies as she made a most anguished noise [ooc: letting you decide if it’s a loud “no” or incomprehensible animalistic noises].

Hearing the sudden weakened voice of the fallen man suddenly snapped out of her daze and finally took in what just happened. Quickly glancing to the man covered in dessert pie filing, then to the pie massacre surrounding him, the broken table, her own pies on the floor, then finally to her trembling hands. Her facial expression twisted from horrified to absolutely livid, blood rushed to her head making her burned face look even redder than before. Her hands then turned into fists as she slowly rose her head to make eye contact with the man who practically destroyed the bakery.

Whether it was due to anger, withdrawals, or both, she was shaking so much it looked like she was just about ready to explode. Then before beginning to charge forward, she quietly said one word.

“You."

[Evan the Lucky]

Sadly for Evan, his attempts to swoon the woman were in vain. At least it was something he was used to. By now he flirted with just about everybody in the village, and let's just say they soon got tired of his endeavors. You had to give the man some credit. He never did give up trying.

Even with his latest utter failure with flirting, he still kept his cocky attitude in check. He was sure if looks could kill he'd be burnt to a crisp under those eyes. Doing his best to ignore her death glare, he kept his hands clasped behind his back. It was proving to be difficult as she drew closer though.

Evan might not be a wimp, but he knew very well that a girl could throw a punch just as well a man, if not better. He could thank his mother on that knowledge.

Before she managed to get a swear out of her mouth, he was about to cut her off with 'Language!', but it seems someone else beat him to it.

While he manage to keep from jumping away in fear, he couldn't contain the girlish squeak at the sudden crash behind him. "W-w-what was that!?" He wasn't exactly expecting an answer, but whatever it was, he knew it was serious, considering the woman in front of him just dropped her pies to the ground with a low gutteral growl.

Finally turning his head, Evan saw what looked to be a new sunroof in the bakery, along with a broken table underneath it. "What did I miss?" The pile of splintered wood and splattered pies moved. Evan was almost afriad they'd come to life, but after hearing a small, scared voice, he sighed internally. Harold was much better than living pies any day.

"I'm b-bleeding!"

The man shook his head at the other. Even from where he was standing, Evan could see the berry filling for the pies he'd landed on. "Um, Harold-"

“You."

The woman that stood next to him stormed past without another word. There wasn't much time for thinking on Evan's part, but he knew Harold wouldn't stand a chance against her. He was a little too soft-spoken to deal with a situation like this.

Rushing ahead of the angry woman, he stood bewteen her and her target. He held his arms up in surrender, hoping to calm her down. "Okay. Hold up. Let's talk things out, alright? I'm sure we'd all love to knock Harold over the head, but by the looks of it, he's already done it himself."

Evan tried not to look up at the botched roof boards. He was certain he'd never let Harold help build any ships anytime soon.

[Harold Harrison]

It took him a few seconds for Harold to be able to focus properly. He realised that the red goop he was in didn't have the same consistency as blood, and a sweet aroma wafted up from beneath him. He brought a reddened finger to his tongue and tasted the sweet berry.

"Oh." Harold's panicking stopped. But that was only briefly, as his attention was drawn by Evan's warning voice, and a fuming Nanna bearing towards him.

Everything clicked in place. He had fallen into a bunch of pies. And Nanna loved pies. Colour drained from his face. He was so dead.

"Ohg-godsN-NannaI'msorryd-don'tkillm-meitwasan-anaccident!Iswear!" He spluttered, whilst also scrambling to get out of the pile of broken pies to try and escape his fate.

Evan tried to stop Nanna, which gave Harold a precious few seconds to get to his feet and step away from the mess. Harold held his hands up defensively. At this moment in time, he was more afraid and concerned about Nanna than the baker. "I-I s-s-swear t-to Thor it w-w-was an accident N-N-N-Nanna!" Harold pleaded. Being nervous and afraid didn't help with his stammer.

Harold silently prayed to the gods that he would be able to leave this mess alive. He also hoped that if Nanna didn't kill him, the baker wouldn't butcher him either.

[Nanna The Numb]

Nanna's advance towards the man in the middle of the pie massacre was halted when the shameless flirt from earlier jumped into her way. 'Gods he's annoying!' She ground her teeth, like Hel she was in the mood to talk things out!

"Get out of the way!" She forcefully made to shove the man in her path.

The baker was watching the whole event being played out. He could barely believe what just happened. That fool that was working on the roof had just made a large hole and destroyed a good portion of the bakery. He was fuming but now he didn't know what to feel as the customers (one in particular) were making too much rough contact. This would only escalate if he didn't do anything, and the last thing he needed was for more things to break. "Oi! If you're gonna fight then take it outside!" He would deal with the man on the floor later.

Nanna however was too angered to listen to any voices of reason. Nothing but force could possibly keep her away from the offending man covered in pie filling. But the other man was insistent on keeping her away from her target. "I said," her leg muscles tensed, "MOVE!" She then sprung to perform a full-body tackle on the man blocking her path.

Unfortunately for Nanna, her legs aren't as strong as they were as a Viking in Training. Plus with the shakes of withdrawal affecting her, she wasn't able to do much to knock the man over. "Fine," she growled through the gap in her lip. 'If he isn't gonna let me at him...' "Then I guess you'll go first." With that she swung her fist at his face, planning her next punch to be closer to the stomach.

[Evan the Lucky]

Talk about a bad day. Not only had Evan's attempt to woo Nanna fail, now he had to put himself in front the woman without any sort of plan to protect himself.

"Get out of the way!" He stood his ground against her. "Woah, no need to get violent. All he did was ruin a few pies, right?" It was clear by now that this woman was beyond the point of reasoning, but Evan's mouth kept going as things got worse.

He kept his hand out in front of Nanna and told the baker over his shoulder, "I would if I could! Unless you want to try and help?" The man doubted he'd get him to intervene here, but it was worth a shot. 

Harold's blubbering was in the least of Evan's problems, so he chose to ignore him. As it turned out, that was the best course of action, considering Nanna decided to charge him. "No no no!" He barely had time to brace himself before her weight slammed into him. If he were Harold, he'd have been thrown to the ground like a sack of potatoes, but luckily, years of lugging ship materials and equipment gave him a little of an advantage.

By now, Evan took notice of the younger man's stuttering. Grunting a bit to push Nanna away, he told him, "Well, I'd tell you to run... but it doesn't seem like that'd work out too well." Either he wouldn't be able to make it out the door, or if he did, there's a chance she wouldn't stop her assault until she got him.

"Then I guess you'll go first."

Evan failed to see the flying fist coming his way until it was too late. For a split second, there was a flash of white, and then it was replaced by a throbbing in his nose. "Thor almighty, woman!" He would've paused to check how bad his injury was, but but seeing Nanna swing back for another hit, he focused on her next move.

The man back-stepped to prevent from being hurt from her next punch, but he managed to slip on some of the pie, making him stumble and fall on his rear end. After regaining his senses, he reached up to feel his face, regretting it immediately when more pain flared through the bridge of his nose. "Yak-dung! You can certainly throw a punch, can't you?"

He pushed himself up into a crouched position. "Lucky for you, I don't hit girls." Though he couldn't see it, a thin bead of blood ran down the side of his nose from the newly-formed cut. Evan's hand dug into a half-destroyed pie when he went to get back up. And though the feeling of the sticky jam between his fingers wasn't exactly wanted, it gave him an idea, albeit probably not a good one.

"Here! If you want the pies so bad you can have em!" And with that, he threw the mostly intact dessert at the advancing woman. And lucky him, it splatted right on her face, sending some fragments off to the side. Even if he didn't know, Evan might've just signed up for his suicide.

[Harold Harrison]

Harold gulped as Nanna took it out on Evan instead. He felt guilty since the boat-builder didn't do anything provocative in the first place. At first, Harold was rooted to the spot, petrified.

Evan suggested Harold run, but Harold stay put. Not only was Nanna between him and the only exit, but Harold needed to prove himself! He didn't want this to be another one of those times where he would escape and be treated as a cowardly Viking there on out.

Harold had to speak out when she punched him. "L-leave him alone!"He said very bravely. "H-he d-d-didn't d-do anything wr-"

The tension and his fear made his stammer worse, but he cut himself off when he saw Evan bury his hand into some pie. If the colour in Harold's face hadn't already been drained in fear from earlier, it certainly had now.

"Evan n-no- ...!!!" Was all he coult pipe out before the boat-builder lobbed the pile of pie-mixture at Nanna.

Harold gave a quick prayer to all the gods that he could remember to keep him and Evan safe. Knowing it wasn't really Evan's fight, he decided to make matters worse to distract Nanna's attention.

He scooped up the messed up pies from the floor with two hands and managed to throw it at Nanna as well, though he for the most-part missed.

By now the Baker had had enough. "Ok. OKAY! That's it." He managed to scoot around the side of the drama, for the most part unnoticed, as everyone had their attention on Nanna. He couldn't bear to see the mess in his bakery anymore. They obviously weren't paying attention to him. "I can't even. I'm getting the Chief." And with that, he left his home to an unknown fate. He dreaded what he would return to.

"L-leave him alone!" Harold repeated somewhat loudly, for once. "L-look, it was an ac-accident-okay?"

[Nanna The Numb]

[ooc] WARNING! The 6th paragraph contains eye descriptions that may disturb some readers. Nothing brutal but the warning still stands. The font colour has been changed for said paragraph.

If squeamish to this sort of stuff, I recommend preparing a warm drink or whatever you'd like to help comfort yourself. Pie however is ill advised here.

---

While her first punch hit it’s mark, the man was prepared for her next one. Not very effectively though seeing as he slipped onto his backside.

”L-leave him alone!” She shot a glare in the direction of the stammering Harold. She was about to snarl in agreement and go after him until the other man gave indication of coming back to his senses. For now Harold would be spared once again, if only for a few more moments.

Ignoring the further stammering, Nanna released a short laugh at the comment about not hitting girls. “Why don’t you try it this once, see what happens.” She grinned as she noticed the blood flow down the man’s face. “Come on!” She slammed her chest once with both hands before positioning them to a more open position to her sides. “Hit me with your best shot! Make me bleed — unless you aren’t viking enough for that!”

While doing this she failed to notice that the man was grabbing a handful of pie. She didn’t register what was about to happen until she heard a stutter of protest and then being suddenly being unable to see anything.

Other people would have recoiled backwards to having something hit their face, but it was different with Nanna. The most she did was straighten up in surprise at the impact. It was a particularly sweet berry pie, that much she could tell from what got through her lip gap.

Her eyes should have been stinging in response but instead there was just an uncomfortable feeling laying on the surface. She forced her eyes closed to avoid more damage, feeling what she assumed had to be a seed sliding around where it really shouldn’t be. She would definitely have to take a trip to the healers after this to make sure all the pie filling got removed. There was no way she’d be able to get all of it herself without making things worse.

With a shaky hand she forced off the soiled pie with a new fury. Not only had this man kept her away from her target, but he did a terrible crime (although lesser compared to destroying a pie display). Throwing a pie. What blasphemy! What kind of sick person would throw a pie at someone else?

“You’re gonna pay for that you maggot ridden dragon steak!” As she tried wiping the rest of the pie filling out of her eyes she felt the impact of what had to be more pies from the other direction, effectively angering her further. Howling in anger she opened her eyes to look in the direction of Harold once again. Or at least, she was pretty sure that was where he was. Her vision was still mostly blurred from the pie.

Advancing and swinging blindly in what she assumed was the direction of the one who started all this, she forgot that the pies made the floor slippery. It didn’t take very long for her to lose her balance and grab at anything she could get her hands on, if she could get her hands on anything or anyone before hitting the floor.

[Evan the Lucky]

Between keeping Harold from getting pummeled, and strategizing a way out of this mess himself, Evan didn't have enough time to think of anything else. Harold's stuttering, while brave, did little, if even that, to help either of them. In fact, it probably only served as fuel for Nanna's rage.

"What? And ruin that pretty face of yours?" He shook his head in an attempt to clear his vision after her first punch. "I'd sooner destroy one of my ships!."

It was at this time the shipbuilder's brilliant jam-induced idea came into play. Evan had to admit though, throwing that pie was totally worth any future injuries. Flirting with the ladies might be his favorite hobby, but annoying them to all Hel was a close second. He couldn't help himself as a laugh bubbled its way through his lips at the sight.

Besides the man's cackling, it was utter silence. That is, until another pie flew across the room and hit its mark. "L-Look, it was an ac-accident-okay?"

As if she didn't even hear him, the woman started advancing, and not in Evan's direction. Thinking quickly and ducking under one of her arms as she swung, Evan made it over to Harold, nearly slipping on another pie in the process. The shipbuilder pushed the smaller man out of Nanna's range, and ungracefully might I add, tripped again onto his face. "Harold!" He whispered as quietly as he could over the woman's grunting and snarling. "As much as that second pie was hilarious, I think we'd better get out while we can."

The plan was basically to sneak around the wall because she couldn't see, but with her throwing blows here and there, there weren't many openings. Nanna's flurry of blind attacks started making her earlier offer of a free punch all the more satisfying to Evan. But echoing in his ears was his mother's voice, telling him not to. She'd never let me forget it as long as I live. Leave it to Evan to be a Momma's Boy.

Just when he thought it couldn't get worse, he was pulled back down to the floor when Nanna fell. He ended up toppling over and landing face-first into one of the few perfectly pristine pies left. "Well that wasn't very nice." He spat through his new jelly mask. Another sting of pain flared through his face as he pushed himself up. It took a moment for him to realize it was the cut on his forehead. Note to self: Pie and blood do not mix.